OG Yoga Stories: The Veteran
In this ongoing series, we’re taking a look at some of our members’ stories. Their names have been left out to respect their anonymity as we share part of their trauma stories. Here’s The Veteran’s story.
Photographed by Mick Mcmurray
On the Brink of Retirement
I discovered yoga in 2010 as I was getting close to retirement. The founder of a local yoga studio would always be down by one of my main surf spots, so I would talk to him. He was such a cool, relaxed, laid back surfer, so, between that vibe and worrying about the issues that I had post-miliary, yoga sounded like it would be something beneficial. Then, of course, being a single male, I thought it was a great way to meet women. I don’t love to admit that, but it’s the truth.
So, I got into it. I really enjoyed the vibe at this local studio - the variety and the acceptance of different body types and various forms of yoga that weren’t just vinyasa based.
Photographed by Mick Mcmurray
Incarceration
I fell off the wagon around 2014, where I ran afoul of the law and got in trouble. I fought a criminal case for quite awhile and ended up spending a total of three years incarcerated. In jail, you have a lot of time. So, I started teaching and practicing yoga. I just kept with the practice and would read books and add to what I knew or remembered all the way until I got through to state prison.
By the time I got to prison, I’d just start practicing in the grass. I’d receive curious looks more than anything else, but eventually, the ice would be broken and some people would ask what I was doing. I’d share and add it to the exercise routines of these guys, explaining why it could help them and answering the question of ‘what’s in it for me?’ I was always open for questions. I think the natural leadership, mentoring and teaching that I had learned in the military took over. People started to give it a try.
In state prison, I eventually started a yoga inmate leisure activity group where we got together and practiced. I leveraged that yoga class, which the Mental Health Department started to sponsor as a self-help group, like Alcoholics Anonymous. It was an eight-week class that met for two hours once a week. We had classes up to twenty people.
How Can I Do This Differently?
I decided to get my yoga certification where I met an instructor for OG Yoga. She referred me to JoAnn, and I realized that JoAnn is doing exactly what I had been thinking about and wanting to do. JoAnn, or Jo, was offering the teacher training, and while at first, I was going to drop into a few veterans and incarcerated classes, Jo told me to do the whole thing.
The program was exactly what I was looking for. During my previous yoga training, I was always thinking of how I could apply what we were learning differently. OG Yoga was actually training people how to do that. It was an affirmation and confirmation that what I was doing intuitively was correct. But, it helped me learn a lot of ways to expand upon that with new ideas and concepts. There were concepts that I hadn’t realized applied to other traumas.
I think the people in the program are truly invested in creating change and doing it in a meaningful way. With OG Yoga, you get so many views: you get people from the VA, you get people talking social justice, you get people who are talking trans rights... You’re getting a conversation from all angles, and nobody's excluded. Everybody in there is asking how we can make yoga more accessible for everybody.
Photographed by Mick Mcmurray
Here to Help People
Due to my disability rating and my retirement, I am fortunate enough to be able to pursue my yoga training and give back to the community without worrying about a paycheck. I can do it a lot more altruistically than what I originally intended to get into it for, rather than grinding away at a studio. I am definitely here to help people. If one person out of 100 people in a room changes, that’s worth it.
The two initiatives that I'm trying to work on involve populations that are nearest to my heart: veterans and the incarcerated population. At this point, I will work with them or for them at any opportunity I can. I've been helping with some OG Yoga classes, and I love the people I get to work alongside.
I'd also love to work with yoga on the active duty military side. In the military, men and women have to make the choice of being a moral fighter. Yoga is a powerful tool for that. In my heart of hearts, I want to take these people who are warriors and say that per their warrior tradition, they are supposed to be warrior monks not just fighters. A warrior monk can make those moral decisions instead of causing unnecessary harm.
Yoga should be a tool for them because it’ll better prepare them for the psychological trauma that they have to deal with after. Why don't we give these people the tools while they're doing the job?
And fortunately, the group at the state prison is still running too. I’m still trying to work the relationship with the prison to go back and continue and keep it going, but it’s hard inside there to keep a program without support. Things like Prison Yoga Project wouldn’t be continuing without the empirical evidence we have that it’s effective. It just has to be invested in and has to be something that the inmates feel value in. Fortunately (or unfortunately), one of the only ways you’re going to get inmates to invest into something is how it affects their incarceration. You have to think that way of how to get them into the door before they realize it’s awesome for them - and that’s the difficult part.
Photographed by Mick Mcmurray
Remembering & Acting
I was struggling to find my new identity while dealing with past mistakes, people I had wronged and trauma. Add to that a healthy dose of PTSD, chronic depression, pain and then a traumatic brain injury. Yoga leveled out the playing field for me to be able to deal with everything. It’s not that it disappeared, but I was able to deal with it on terms that were much more acceptable for my body and my mind to handle rather than being overwhelmed. It was an effective tool. It’s not a one-stop or a cure-all. It complements all the other things.
In yoga, we say to yoke or to bind. I used to call it the glue that binds all the other stuff together. It can be the glue to bind Western treatment and your other relationships and your work life and stabilize all of those so your whole quality of life is better. I tell people that if I had not gotten back into yoga and meditative, therapeutic practices, I would have probably died because I was on a destructive path. It was a catalyst which allowed me to accept the things I had done wrong. I learned that that’s what was and this is what is, and I need to move on.
I find that yoga in itself is a practice off the mat - it has a lot more to do than just asana or even meditation. It's the lifestyle of remembering and acting. It's one of the hardest things being a yogi every day. That’s where the rubber meets the road. It's easy being a yogi on a mat.
About OG Yoga
OG Yoga is a San Diego-based nonprofit whose mission is to deliver trauma- and diversity-informed, mindfulness-based yoga through partnerships with the systems serving marginalized individuals to support healing, resilience, self-development, and positive social change. To date, OG Yoga has worked with over 50 organizations across San Diego to deliver our services to 6,000+ individuals over 10,000+ class visits.
But our work is far from over. We really need your help. Support our mission and promote healing by helping us bring yoga and mindfulness practices to those populations who need it most - youth, homeless, disabled, veterans, and many others. Just $20 supports one student who has experienced trauma, and $163 funds an entire trauma-informed class.